People in love make me want to vomit
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
