Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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