whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
