You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
