pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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