She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
