shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize