I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Well I just put wine in my tea
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
