wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
