can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
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