I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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