It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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