I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We have started to decorate penises.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
