Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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