Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
