Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
