Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
