The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
