I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
