i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My nipple is on Facebook.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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