**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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