you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
