I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize