He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
