So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
