I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
