I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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