I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
