He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
