It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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