Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
