we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i drank out of a bidet.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
