girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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