you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
