Are we in a gay sports bar?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
