Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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