I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
