I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
