omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
