Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
