My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I still have a little drunk in my system
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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