We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
What a dumb baby whore.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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