I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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