Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Sacagawea was the original milf.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
