she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
