i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
