I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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