I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
