so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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