You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
