I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
