My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
either way he was missing a nipple.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
