is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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