My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i came on her dog
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
