Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
