I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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