omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
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