singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
