Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
