she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
